Monday, April 8, 2013

April, 8th 2013 (Monday)







She looked at someone, and her heart beats faster



since that time.......
Her smile already flaring...
she feels the seasons of her heart has changed ...
From winter into summer
that girl make her own philosophy, that her frozen heart is melting..
but the water still too cool
there's no one has been allowed to touch it...




that girl maybe change little by little
that girl maybe start to think about how's the world outside
she's not a nerd or a girl who always avoid the outside 
that girl just think that inside is safer....








because for several things, alone would be better.........

Sunday, April 7, 2013

April, 7th 2013 (Sunday)

There's a girl who think this world never by her side...
that girl always shame of new things
that girl ever hurted before, but don't know how much it hurted her until she become like this
scared of every bad possibilities that might happen...

this morning the sun shine so bright, like there's no possibility of rain...
Last night the students study hard for exam today, like there's no possibility they'll fail on exam
now, she still quite and scared, looks like everything haven't changed yet...

But, that's unlikely possibilities are what she's afraid of...
Something that might happen in a tiny precentage
Of failure, pain, fooled, betrayed by the people sorround her..
That girl just afraid that she'll drop her tears for something that's not worth it
that girl just afraid that she'll get hurt and left by the people sorround her...
that girl just afraid of the loss of her confidence...

apart from her fears, she just doesn't want to be alone for the several times..
that girl think that it'll get easier just to stop being concern of other people
that girl think that her feeling won't be hurt if she doesn't know anything about other people...
that girl think that she won't drop her tears for people who don't worth it if she doesn't open her heart to know any other people closer...
that girl think all of those things are easier to do than have to get hurt and recover from a heartache, because she doesn't know how to end it, the ache.....

That girl is afraid if only she can survive this world alone or not...
that girl maybe hurt by her own decision, but as she said it's easier if she doesn't know any other people...
If she's not close with anyone , than the risk of being stabbed by people she trust is tinier...
that girl sick of her own life
Why do i live like this ? Why do my condition is so pathetic? Why am i alone meanwhile everyone's laughing with their bestfriend? Why am i the only one who still scared of everything? When this thing will end and won't haunted me anymore....
that girl doesn't like it because she don't even know anything about her life...

that girl is still alone, and choose not to get hurt by her own way :)